Joke Thread

Discussion in 'V.C.'s Parlor' started by banjaxed, Feb 18, 2017.

  1. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer John Silver Supporting Member

    Age:
    59
    Nov 24, 2018
    RC addiction....
    Last night I ate at a Stars Wars themed restaurant, ordered the Wookie steak. It was a little Chewy.
     
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  2. ScoobySnacker

    ScoobySnacker Squier-holic

    Age:
    62
    Dec 4, 2018
    Never-reach, NY
    I spent 2 hours this morning at H&R Block.


    It was a taxing experience.
     
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  3. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
    The Rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.”
    The Priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”
    To which the Rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.”
    The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
    A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”
    The Priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”
    The Rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”
    The Priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my faith.”
    The Rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.
    Finally, the Rabbi said, “Beats the heck out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?”
     
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  4. duceditor

    duceditor Squier-Axpert Gold Supporting Member

    Age:
    74
    May 29, 2014
    The Monadnocks, NH USA
    You really just gotta see this... :D





    -don
     
  5. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer John Silver Supporting Member

    Age:
    59
    Nov 24, 2018
    RC addiction....
    That was hilarious Don.
     
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  6. JohnnyMac

    JohnnyMac Squier-holic

    Age:
    68
    Mar 5, 2018
    Front range Colorado
  7. Davis Sharp

    Davis Sharp Dr. Squier ‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎

    Jan 7, 2016
    Maryland, USA
    New Yorkers have a bad reputation for being unfriendly. :confused::confused: I don't know why that is, the Governor is always hugging and kissing people.
     
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  8. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    Bad day for my employment: I got fired from work at the pork & bean factory. I was putting them in upside down and customers got the hiccups.
    Then Mrs. Lover got fired from her job as a massage therapist. She rubbed people the wrong way.

    Last week I was fired as a proofreader at the M&M factory. I ate all the "W"s.
     
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  9. Papa Joe

    Papa Joe Squier-Axpert Gold Supporting Member

    Age:
    91
    Dec 12, 2009
    Swanton Ohio
  10. Papa Joe

    Papa Joe Squier-Axpert Gold Supporting Member

    Age:
    91
    Dec 12, 2009
    Swanton Ohio
  11. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    One requires tweetment.
    .
    .
    .
    The other requires oinkment.
     
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  12. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    How tight should the drain plug be? Asking for a friend.

    drain plug.jpg
     
  13. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer John Silver Supporting Member

    Age:
    59
    Nov 24, 2018
    RC addiction....
    I tried suing the airlines for losing my luggage, but I lost the case.:D
     
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  14. DougMen

    DougMen Dr. Squier

    Age:
    66
    Jun 8, 2017
    Honolulu, HI
    This one's for our friends in the UK, or anyone living in a large city
     
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  15. Papa Joe

    Papa Joe Squier-Axpert Gold Supporting Member

    Age:
    91
    Dec 12, 2009
    Swanton Ohio