Joke Thread

Discussion in 'V.C.'s Parlor' started by banjaxed, Feb 18, 2017.

  1. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    Bills should not have an apostrophy.

    own a race car and pay bills.jpg
     
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  2. DougMen

    DougMen Dr. Squier

    Age:
    66
    Jun 8, 2017
    Honolulu, HI
    You really expect people who don't know the difference between to, two, and too to understand apostrophes?
     
  3. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    I make many memes, some displayed in this thread. Did not make this one. Just wanted ST members to know I know my apostrophy etiquette thanks to my 6th grade public skool education. 4th grade was the best three years of my life.

    Perhaps the TWO of us help some folks TO better understand, TOO. They're there for their reading.

    EDIT: As an avid writer with lots of experience (not bragging, was part of my career, now I write op-eds and my autobiography) I can say it is much easier to see others' mistakes while reading than to find one's own mistakes while proofreading . Our mind knows what it should say and often overlook errors. Seeing someone else's written errors is simple.

    Unfortunately, you are correct in many instances. Perhaps this may help reference apostrophy use:
    Mikes -- more than one Mike, plural. No apostrophy.
    Mike's -- belonging to Mike, possessive.
    Mikes' -- belonging to more than one Mike, plural possessive.

    Not trying to be a wise guy. One of my degrees is in Education, I taught for over 20 years. Everything we know we have learned at one time or another, I try to learn every day.
     

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Jan 7, 2021
  4. DougMen

    DougMen Dr. Squier

    Age:
    66
    Jun 8, 2017
    Honolulu, HI
    Except for one thing- It's spelled apostrophe, lol
     
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  5. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    See? Even spill (sic) check missed it.

    Here is another example -- when the word or name ends with S. If something belongs to Mr. Jones it is Jones'.

    I have loved using words in humerous ways my entire life. Guys like Archie Campbell, Norm Crosby, Yogi Berra ... anyone using malaprops.
     
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  6. MrYeats

    MrYeats Dr. Squier Platinum Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2017
    South Texas Coast
    buff.jpg buffalo bills' wrong, they are bison, and there is no bison, ny.
    this is a buffalo
     
  7. Geode

    Geode Squier-Nut

    870
    Nov 30, 2020
    MB, SC
    And he doesn't have a
    'bill'. His bird does...
     
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  8. Stillhouse

    Stillhouse Squier-Meister

    Age:
    48
    190
    Dec 15, 2013
    Deep In The South Of Texas
    Paddy and his son are walking into town. Paddy says,

    "See this stone wall that runs along the road all the way into town? I built that, stone by stone, with my own hands. But do folk call me Paddy the Wall Mason? Never."

    Over the next hill the town comes into view. Says Paddy,

    "Look out there in the harbor, I laid down that pier, plank by plank by the sweat of my own brow. Think they ever call me Paddy the Pier Builder? Not even once."

    They get into town and make for the pub. Pints ordered, they sit down. Paddy starts,

    "All these fine chairs and tables in the pub, hauled the wood and made them myself I did, though it broke my back to do so. Not one person ever hailed me as Paddy the Furniture Maker"

    "But I get drunk and shag ONE sheep......."
     
  9. DrBeGood

    DrBeGood Squier-holic

    Dec 9, 2014
    Sutton QC, CANADA
    There - Their.jpg
     
  10. -r3-

    -r3- Squier-holic

    Age:
    51
    Jan 28, 2016
    NC Piedmont
    Hey, I know what a tutu is!! ;)
     
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  11. Papa Joe

    Papa Joe Squier-Axpert Gold Supporting Member

    Age:
    91
    Dec 12, 2009
    Swanton Ohio
  12. Papa Joe

    Papa Joe Squier-Axpert Gold Supporting Member

    Age:
    91
    Dec 12, 2009
    Swanton Ohio
  13. Eddd

    Eddd Squier-Nut

    681
    Nov 20, 2019
    Canada
    What is this? Inglish class?
     
  14. Eddd

    Eddd Squier-Nut

    681
    Nov 20, 2019
    Canada
  15. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    Q. Why do women buy shoes?
    A. To keep other women from buying them.

    No applause please, I am too busy dodging airborne rotten veggies. Hey, nobody said these had to be good jokes! I heard that joke when I was a kid, at least, ummm, errr, 20 years ago? More like 50.

    The joke is a segway to me buying a ratchet at a market of fleas the other day. I did not need it, but could not pass it at only $3.
     

    Attached Files:

  16. DrBeGood

    DrBeGood Squier-holic

    Dec 9, 2014
    Sutton QC, CANADA
    This is not really a joke ...

    When you die, you don't know you're dead. You don't suffer. It is others who suffer.
    It's the same when you're stupid.
     
  17. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer John Silver Supporting Member

    Age:
    59
    Nov 24, 2018
    RC addiction....
    It's always been said, you can't fix stupid.:D
     
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