Joke Thread

Discussion in 'V.C.'s Parlor' started by banjaxed, Feb 18, 2017.

  1. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    ^^^Volume Two!!!^^^
     
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  2. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer Squier-holic

    Age:
    58
    Nov 24, 2018
    RC addiction....
    When a young salesman met his untimely end, he was informed that he had a choice about where he would spend his eternity: Heaven or Hell. He was allowed to visit both places, and then make his decision afterwards.

    "I'll see Heaven first," said the salesman, and an angel led through the gates on a private tour. Inside it was very peaceful and serene, and all the people there were playing harps and eating grapes. It looked very nice, but the salesman was not about to make a decision that could very well condemn him to a life of musical produce.

    "Can I see Hell now?" he asked. The angel pointed him to the elevator, and he went down to the Basement where he was greeted by one of Satan's loyal followers. For the next half hour, the salesman was led through a tour of what appeared to be the best night clubs he'd ever seen. People were partying loudly, and having a, if you'll pardon the expression, Hell of a time.

    When the tour ended, he was sent back up where the angel asked him if he had reached a final decision.
    "Yes, I have," he replied. "As great as Heaven looks and all, I have to admit that Hell was more of my kind of place. I've decided to spend my eternity down there."

    The salesman was sent to hell, where he was immediately thrown into a cave and was chained to a wall, and he was subjected to various tortures. "When I came down here for the tour," he yelled with anger and pain, "I was shown a whole bunch of bars and parties and other great stuff! What happened?!"

    The devil replied, "Oh, that! That was just the Sales Demo."
     
  3. ScoobySnacker

    ScoobySnacker Squier-Nut

    Age:
    62
    645
    Dec 4, 2018
    Never-reach, NY

    :D:)
    I got so many belly laughs from this, I do believe I burnt off 2 pounds of recently acquired belly.:):D
     
  4. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    I looked up the definition, then made a meme.

    kraken meme.jpg
     
  5. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer Squier-holic

    Age:
    58
    Nov 24, 2018
    RC addiction....
    This is a Kraken and I want one.......

    kraken.jpg
     
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  6. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
  7. Davis Sharp

    Davis Sharp Dr. Squier

    Jan 7, 2016
    Maryland, USA
    Click on "Watch on Facebook" it's funny.
     
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  8. Papa Joe

    Papa Joe Squier-Axpert

    Age:
    91
    Dec 12, 2009
    Swanton Ohio
    more truth than humor to this..Same can often be said about guitars and amps..
     
  9. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer Squier-holic

    Age:
    58
    Nov 24, 2018
    RC addiction....
    A farmer is walking with a prospective buyer when they see a beautiful pig in the yard, except it has a wooden leg. The buyer asks, "Why the wooden leg?" The farmer replies, "That pig is so smart, I let it drive the kids to school."
    "Great, but why the wooden leg?"
    "The pig is so smart it has a degree in horticulture and philosophy."
    "Amazing! But why the bloody wooden leg?"
    "Well when you have a pig that smart you don't eat it all at once!"
     
  10. DrBeGood

    DrBeGood Squier-holic

    Dec 9, 2014
    Sutton QC, CANADA
    Texas farmer on vacation in France stops at a little ountry farm to talk with the owner.

    He asks him how big his land is. French farmer tells him, it goes from the tree you see there on the side of the road, to the back of the old building a few hundred meters down the field and along the little stream just by the farm house.

    The Texan being a Texan can't help himself and explains how on his land back in America, when he gets on his tractor, he can goo n for a couple of days before he gets to the end of his property.

    French farmer looks at him dumbstruck and says, I once had a tractor like that.
     
  11. Oh we know what to do, we just don't remember. ;) Cheers, Barrie.
     
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  12. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    Now that I have noticed how small his body is, I will never see Col Sanders the same again.

    KFC Logo.png
     
  13. Eddd

    Eddd Squier-Meister

    269
    Nov 20, 2019
    Canada
    What motor are they using in that. Are the 360 lb’s such a thing?
     
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  14. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer Squier-holic

    Age:
    58
    Nov 24, 2018
    RC addiction....
    I'm not sure, I haven't researched it much yet but the day is young....:D
    I know they are pretty spendy and I'm sure it wont happen for me anytime soon.
    I also like the Lose DBxl K&N. They are around $900 but out of stock everywhere...
     
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  15. Eddd

    Eddd Squier-Meister

    269
    Nov 20, 2019
    Canada