Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'V.C.'s Parlor' started by banjaxed, Feb 18, 2017.
C, Eb, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender, upon seeing them, says “sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
My horse has insomnia and keeps everyone awake.
She's a night mare.
Store clerk: "Would you liked this wrapped as a gift?"
Me: "Sure! I thought I was going to have to pay for it."
I went to the store yesterday and ...
That will work every time.
^^^^ Long time subscriber of Popular Mechanics magazine.......
This is what it is coming to....I am going to be sure to get a K&N filter.
NEWS ALERT: Air filter price gouging on the rise.....
Since I'm higher risk mine will have a B&M 6-71 blower. ;-)
OK honey, I got my shopping list. I'm going to the market.
Ever been to a picnic just to have it ruined by all the flies?
I going to find a no fly zone for my next outing.
Or maybe they will invent a RC drone that will have bug zappers for guns.
Jesse James boarded a train and announced "my name is Jesse James and I'm gonna rob all the men and ravish all the women"..
Young cowpoke stood up and said " you can rob all us men but I can't let ya ravish the women folk".
Old lady shouted " sit back down and hush your mouth cowboy, Jesse James knows how to rob a train"..
“Poor Old fool,” thought this rich guy as he watched an old man trying to fish in a puddle of water outside of the bar.
He decided to invite the old man inside for a drink and a bite to eat. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught so far?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth today.”
The provenance may be dubious ("Pat McGroin"?), but it sounds legit otherwise.
That Medieval Plague Doctor forgot his stick.
It's for poking at and investigating possible victims while maintaining a social distance.
The nose part of the mask was stuffed with herbs, spices, and straw, ostensibly to eliminate the air-borne contagion and cover up the smell.
 I've been carrying a Bat Masterson style walking stick for a year or so, and it's really handy for hitting the automatic door-opener switches at some entrances, instead of using my bare hand.
"Ring around the rosie
Pocket full of posies
We all fall down".
Historians define the "rosie" as the boubon pustule,
the posies exactly as here described,
Ashes, ashes was originally "Achoo, achoo"
And then we all die.
And we think things are bad now.