Joke Thread
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Las Palmas Norte
Squier-Axpert
DrBeGood
Dr. Squier
Loin Lover
Dr. Squier
Las Palmas Norte
Squier-Axpert
I thought these were “jokes”, not cruel reality?
Won’t even touch it!
Shagarello
Squier Talker
OOMTOM
Squier-holic
Simon's first day in his new job at the Zoo. The supervisor says Ok start off by sweeping out the Aquarium block and then the other enclosures but be careful.
Simon gets a broom and off he goes. Whilst sweeping out the Aquarium he accidently knocks a fish tank of a table and it shatters into a million pieces. Panicking he collects all the Fish into a bucket, Mops up the water and all the other debris he dumps in the dumpster. He takes the bucket of Fish and chucks it into the Lions cage. Next whilst cleaning out the Chimpanzees cage he lets them escape. He chases them into the lions enclosure, no problem. Next whilst sweeping around by the Ice Cream stall he disturbs a Bee Hive and as the bees swarm out he batters them with his broom and collects the dead corpses in his bucket. Again he disposes of the mess by chucking the squashed Bees into the Lions cage.
Next day a new Lion is introduced into the Lion enclosure. The new lion says to the other lions " what is the food like here ". They reply it is really good. Yesterday we had Fish, Chimps and Mushy Bees ................
Simon gets a broom and off he goes. Whilst sweeping out the Aquarium he accidently knocks a fish tank of a table and it shatters into a million pieces. Panicking he collects all the Fish into a bucket, Mops up the water and all the other debris he dumps in the dumpster. He takes the bucket of Fish and chucks it into the Lions cage. Next whilst cleaning out the Chimpanzees cage he lets them escape. He chases them into the lions enclosure, no problem. Next whilst sweeping around by the Ice Cream stall he disturbs a Bee Hive and as the bees swarm out he batters them with his broom and collects the dead corpses in his bucket. Again he disposes of the mess by chucking the squashed Bees into the Lions cage.
Next day a new Lion is introduced into the Lion enclosure. The new lion says to the other lions " what is the food like here ". They reply it is really good. Yesterday we had Fish, Chimps and Mushy Bees ................
Loin Lover
Dr. Squier
OOMTOM
Squier-holic
A guy is leaning on his front garden gate and notices a small boy coming down the street dragging a piece of string behind him.
When the boy gets close the guy says " why are you dragging that string behind you ".
The boy replies " have you ever tied Pushing It " ? ...............
When the boy gets close the guy says " why are you dragging that string behind you ".
The boy replies " have you ever tied Pushing It " ? ...............
DougMen
Dr. Squier
DougMen
Dr. Squier
Loin Lover
Dr. Squier
Bubba went to the University of Kentucky* on a football scholarship. He was a very good running back, but a poor student.
At graduation day, Bubba didn't have enough credits. But he was a great football star and the students held a rally and demanded the dean give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the dean agreed if Bubba could answer one question correctly he would give him a diploma.
The one question test was held in the auditorium and the students packed the place. It was standing room only.
The dean was on the stage and told Bubba to come up. The dean had the diploma in his hand and said, "Bubba, if you can answer this question correctly I'll give you your diploma." Bubba said he was ready and the dean asked him the question. "Bubba," he said, "How much is three times seven?"
Bubba looked up at the ceiling and then down at his shoes, just pondering the question. The students began chanting, "Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!"
Then Bubba held up his hand and the auditorium became silent. Bubba said, "I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one."
A hush fell over the auditorium and the Kentucky students began another chant. "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"
* Interchange the U of K with most any university you want.
At graduation day, Bubba didn't have enough credits. But he was a great football star and the students held a rally and demanded the dean give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the dean agreed if Bubba could answer one question correctly he would give him a diploma.
The one question test was held in the auditorium and the students packed the place. It was standing room only.
The dean was on the stage and told Bubba to come up. The dean had the diploma in his hand and said, "Bubba, if you can answer this question correctly I'll give you your diploma." Bubba said he was ready and the dean asked him the question. "Bubba," he said, "How much is three times seven?"
Bubba looked up at the ceiling and then down at his shoes, just pondering the question. The students began chanting, "Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!"
Then Bubba held up his hand and the auditorium became silent. Bubba said, "I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one."
A hush fell over the auditorium and the Kentucky students began another chant. "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"
* Interchange the U of K with most any university you want.
Loin Lover
Dr. Squier
A brunette walks into the doctor and says Dr. I have a big problem everywhere I touch my body, it hurts, I touch my arm ouch, touch my leg ouch,,my stomach ouch everywhere! my knee my head ouch ouch, the doctor looks at her and says “you are really a blonde aren’t you? She says yes how did you know? Your finger is broken
brians
Squier-holic
I wonder if John knew what he was starting?
Loin Lover
Dr. Squier
OOMTOM
Squier-holic
It was nearing the Smurfs festival day and Papa Smurf called a meeting. Sorry he announced but we will have to cancel Festival day because the Big Bad Wolf as been spotted close to the field. All the Smurfs were upset. Papa Smurf relented and said if one of you will volunteer to act as a Look Out from the top of the Big Tree in the field we will carry on. None of the Smurfs wanted to miss the fun on the ground but eventually Stuttering Smurf came forward and said " I wwill ddo it " and all the other Smurfs cheered. Papa Smurf said sorry but your stammer, it will not work. The other Smurfs chanted " let him do it, let him do it " Papa Smurf said ok if he can come back in 2 days and shout Wolf clearly he can do it. Stuttering Smurf went off and for 2 days practiced " wwwolf wwwolf".
So 2 days later Papa Smurf said ok let us hear it " WOLF WOLF " came stuttering Smurfs reply as clear as a Bell.
All the Smurfs shouted Well Done and Stuttering Smurf shouted Hip Hip and the others added Hooray. Hip Hip repeated stuttering Smurf and they were all eaten by a Giant Hippopotamus ! ......
So 2 days later Papa Smurf said ok let us hear it " WOLF WOLF " came stuttering Smurfs reply as clear as a Bell.
All the Smurfs shouted Well Done and Stuttering Smurf shouted Hip Hip and the others added Hooray. Hip Hip repeated stuttering Smurf and they were all eaten by a Giant Hippopotamus ! ......
