Joke Thread

miket1117

Squier-holic
Gold Supporting Member
Mar 31, 2018
2,649
Kansas City
Q. What’s the range of a Gibson Les Paul?
A. Depends on how far you throw it.

Q: What’s the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?
A: Eventually a savings bond will mature and make money.

Q. How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?
A. Nobody knows.

Two jazz guitarists meet in a bar, and one says, “Yeah man, I bought your last album, it was awesome!” to which the other replies, “Oh so that was you!”
 

brians

Squier-holic
Oct 1, 2017
2,147
South Africa
Q. What’s the range of a Gibson Les Paul?
A. Depends on how far you throw it.

Q: What’s the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?
A: Eventually a savings bond will mature and make money.

Q. How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?
A. Nobody knows.

Two jazz guitarists meet in a bar, and one says, “Yeah man, I bought your last album, it was awesome!” to which the other replies, “Oh so that was you!”
I love the 12 String question, it's so true , because it's always almost in tune but never fully. Ask me how I know !
 

miket1117

Squier-holic
Gold Supporting Member
Mar 31, 2018
2,649
Kansas City
I love the 12 String question, it's so true , because it's always almost in tune but never fully. Ask me how I know !
i had my 12 in tune... once.

truth is, my way around that is that i started tuning the octave strings a little differently... instead on the octave, maybe just up or down a step. took awhile to get right but definitely had some interesting chords and overtones working. i don't do it anymore.
 

OOMTOM

Squier-holic
Jun 19, 2021
1,344
Johannesburg South Africa
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.
 

brians

Squier-holic
Oct 1, 2017
2,147
South Africa
i had my 12 in tune... once.

truth is, my way around that is that i started tuning the octave strings a little differently... instead on the octave, maybe just up or down a step. took awhile to get right but definitely had some interesting chords and overtones working. i don't do it anymore.
I gave up on my 12 string.

Man I tried and I mean I really tried, but we parted company after too many jams with guys saying , Brian, can you please tune that thing !!!

When it's in tune , once in a blue moon, it's a heavenly instrument, but you can't jam on a blue moon basis, I miss it and I don't.
 

miket1117

Squier-holic
Gold Supporting Member
Mar 31, 2018
2,649
Kansas City
I gave up on my 12 string.

Man I tried and I mean I really tried, but we parted company after too many jams with guys saying , Brian, can you please tune that thing !!!

When it's in tune , once in a blue moon, it's a heavenly instrument, but you can't jam on a blue moon basis, I miss it and I don't.
i'd live with it. gotta have a 12. jokes aside, i can tune one by ear and quickly. use a stiff pick, be precise and, if you use open tunings, you absolutely must have proper intonation. get that done first, the rest is easy.

i learned to play on a 12. guess that helps.
 


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