Joke Thread

[miket1117]

Q. What’s the range of a Gibson Les Paul?
A. Depends on how far you throw it.

Q: What’s the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?
A: Eventually a savings bond will mature and make money.

Q. How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?
A. Nobody knows.

Two jazz guitarists meet in a bar, and one says, “Yeah man, I bought your last album, it was awesome!” to which the other replies, “Oh so that was you!”

 

[OOMTOM]

The teacher is conducting a spelling lesson in class and it is going well until she gets to little Johnnie. Johnnie has the attention span of Gnat, She says now pay attention Johnnie, In the song Old MacDonald had a Farm, Please spell farm.
Johnnie thinks for a little while and then replies " would it be E I E I O miss " ............

 

[DrBeGood]

​

 

[brians]

Q. What’s the range of a Gibson Les Paul?
A. Depends on how far you throw it.

Q: What’s the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?
A: Eventually a savings bond will mature and make money.

Q. How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?
A. Nobody knows.

Two jazz guitarists meet in a bar, and one says, “Yeah man, I bought your last album, it was awesome!” to which the other replies, “Oh so that was you!”

I love the 12 String question, it's so true , because it's always almost in tune but never fully. Ask me how I know !

 

[miket1117]

I love the 12 String question, it's so true , because it's always almost in tune but never fully. Ask me how I know !

i had my 12 in tune... once.

truth is, my way around that is that i started tuning the octave strings a little differently... instead on the octave, maybe just up or down a step. took awhile to get right but definitely had some interesting chords and overtones working. i don't do it anymore.

 

[DrBeGood]

​

 

[Loin Lover]

 

[Loin Lover]

 

[Loin Lover]

 

[OOMTOM]

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.

 

[brians]

i had my 12 in tune... once.

truth is, my way around that is that i started tuning the octave strings a little differently... instead on the octave, maybe just up or down a step. took awhile to get right but definitely had some interesting chords and overtones working. i don't do it anymore.

I gave up on my 12 string.

Man I tried and I mean I really tried, but we parted company after too many jams with guys saying , Brian, can you please tune that thing !!!

When it's in tune , once in a blue moon, it's a heavenly instrument, but you can't jam on a blue moon basis, I miss it and I don't.

 

[miket1117]

I gave up on my 12 string.

Man I tried and I mean I really tried, but we parted company after too many jams with guys saying , Brian, can you please tune that thing !!!

When it's in tune , once in a blue moon, it's a heavenly instrument, but you can't jam on a blue moon basis, I miss it and I don't.

i'd live with it. gotta have a 12. jokes aside, i can tune one by ear and quickly. use a stiff pick, be precise and, if you use open tunings, you absolutely must have proper intonation. get that done first, the rest is easy.

i learned to play on a 12. guess that helps.

 

[DougMen]

 

[DrBeGood]

​

 

[TheBoss72]

What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

 

[Eddd]

View attachment 232582

You must be like the Hulk by now Doug.

 

[DrBeGood]

I though you might enjoy that Fender at $125



But seriously, is that a white rhino ? What model is it ?

 

[ScoobySnacker]

I though you might enjoy that Fender at $125

View attachment 232664

But seriously, is that a white rhino ? What model is it ?

View attachment 232666

The ad says it's a Fender "Squirt".

 

[JohnnyMac]

This is a genuine Fender Squirt. Long gone now but it was a fun Squier mini project.

 

[Papa Joe]