Joke Thread

Discussion in 'V.C.'s Parlor' started by banjaxed, Feb 18, 2017.

  1. OOMTOM

    OOMTOM Squier-Nut

    Age:
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    Jun 19, 2021
    Johannesburg South Africa
    We have a service like that called Dawn Wing. Yesterday I was supposed to receive a delivery, got a text to say I am outside your gate, no one was and three text message replies went unanswered :(:(:(:(
     
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  2. OOMTOM

    OOMTOM Squier-Nut

    Age:
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    852
    Jun 19, 2021
    Johannesburg South Africa
    Why is there a Fairy at the top of a Christmas Tree.

    Well, Santa Claus normally wakes up in September to prepare everything for December.
    But some years ago he overslept and only woke up at the end of November.
    He was in a flat spin trying to do everything he needed to do. His Red Suit needed washing and ironing, his Sleigh needed a wash and vacuum. Only one Reindeer had been washed and all the presents needed wrapping. He was panicking.
    There was a knock at his door and he Screamed come in.
    A little Fairy entered dragging a Christmas Tree behind her.
    Bad tempered Santa screamed " What the hell do you want now ".
    The Fairy said quietly " what should I do with this Christmas Tree ".

    And that folks is why there is always a Fairy at the top of the Tree ............
     
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  3. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Dr. Squier

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    I am no saint, do not pretend to be. I try not to use vulgarity although I must admit there are times I say shazbot or similar. I do enjoy a good play on words.

    Also, I have two cups of coffee within 15 minutes of awaking in order to push Geritol through my system. ;-)



    coffee backward.jpg
     
  4. miket1117

    miket1117 Squier-holic Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 31, 2018
    Kansas City
  5. motorhead

    motorhead Squier-Meister

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  6. motorhead

    motorhead Squier-Meister

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  7. motorhead

    motorhead Squier-Meister

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  8. OOMTOM

    OOMTOM Squier-Nut

    Age:
    76
    852
    Jun 19, 2021
    Johannesburg South Africa
    Mary and Paddy are sitting in O'Hagans pub.
    Paddy says to Mary If you were stranded on a Desert Island who would you like to be with you.
    Mary says that is easy, Brad Pitt of course, and Paddy who would you like to be there.
    Paddy takes a sip of his Guiness and replies My Uncle Donald.
    Mary says why your uncle Donald ?
    Paddy says because he has a Boat ..........
     
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  9. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Dr. Squier

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    It has been months since I ordered the book "How To Scam People Online".

    It still has not arrived.
     
  10. motorhead

    motorhead Squier-Meister

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  11. motorhead

    motorhead Squier-Meister

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    Oct 1, 2021
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  12. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Dr. Squier

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    If you do not understand this do not hesitate to ask. Redrum.

    Shining Jack.jpg
     
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  13. Rgdavid

    Rgdavid Squier Talker

    Age:
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    Oct 13, 2021
    London
    Wendy.. Hide that axe...
     
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  14. motorhead

    motorhead Squier-Meister

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  15. motorhead

    motorhead Squier-Meister

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