Joke Thread

Discussion in 'V.C.'s Parlor' started by banjaxed, Feb 18, 2017.

  1. drewcp

    drewcp Squier-holic

    Age:
    35
    Dec 14, 2018
    Saint Paul, MN
    vlxerdon and Kenneth Mountain like this.
  2. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    PJ posted that one. It is good enough for repeating. As a deer eater I obviously loved the joke and shared with my email peeps. Oh yeah, true stuff is the funniest stuff. ;)
     
  3. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer Squier-holic

    Age:
    58
    Nov 24, 2018
    Burnin some Nitro...
    A funny reminder never hurt anybody...:D
     
  4. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    Those Duke boys have downsized. 01.jpg
     
    vlxerdon, MrYeats, mb doug and 7 others like this.
  5. Davis Sharp

    Davis Sharp Dr. Squier

    Jan 7, 2016
    Maryland, USA
  6. Papa Joe

    Papa Joe Squier-Axpert

    Age:
    90
    Dec 12, 2009
    Swanton Ohio
  7. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    The Wee Lee?
     
  8. glmino

    glmino Squier Talker

    60
    Nov 11, 2018
    Mars
    Here's an original by me when in grade school:

    Two soil samples vacationing in LasVegas from different parts of the country met while washing their hands in a casino men's room, one looks at the other and says "You look just like me...The other replies... "My sediments exactly" ...
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2019
  9. glmino

    glmino Squier Talker

    60
    Nov 11, 2018
    Mars
    Another original by me... Living dangerously with my smart mouth!

    This was a couple years ago.
    At work we have an estimator named Karen ( she is a really nice and smart gal too! ). So,... one day I went up to her desk to give a casual hello, and this is an exact quote of what I said: ...This is a true story...

    " A guy stopped me in the parking lot at work and asked, who's that good looking blonde in the office"

    She was beaming and smiling as I said that,...and then...

    " I told him we don't have a good looking blonde in the office "

    So, I got a piece of her mind, she was laughing and cussing me at the same time. She remembers that to this day.

    Mike
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2019
  10. MrYeats

    MrYeats Squier-holic

    Age:
    64
    Dec 28, 2017
    Padre Island
    I thought it was the Snipe but could not really place it.
    And of course tall erect Pines live in the forest.
     
  11. Aphorism: A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation. Enjoy!

    1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

    2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

    3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

    4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

    5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

    6 How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

    7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

    8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

    9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.

    10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

    11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

    12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - - - for example, it could be the right number. (Think about this one)!!

    13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

    14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

    15. Be careful about reading the fine print - there's no way you're going to like it.

    16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

    17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

    18. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Ford.

    19. After 70, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.

    20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind don't matter.

     
  12. CVSteve

    CVSteve Squier-Nut

    Age:
    65
    606
    Dec 28, 2017
    Texas
    I like this one.
     
  13. There's likely to be much more that just "thousands" … probably millions. :) Cheers, Barrie.
     
    Kenneth Mountain likes this.
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