Joke Thread

Discussion in 'V.C.'s Parlor' started by banjaxed, Feb 18, 2017.

  1. JurnyWannaBe

    JurnyWannaBe Squier-Nut

    Age:
    59
    542
    Feb 14, 2019
    30808
    A bear strolls into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll have a whisky..................................................................................................................................................................and coke."
    The bartender says "Why the long pause"
    Bear says "I dunno..................................I was born with them."
     
  2. MrYeats

    MrYeats Squier-holic

    Age:
    64
    Dec 28, 2017
    Padre Island
    What does a bad boxer and Dracula's wife have in common? They both go down for the count.
     
  3. Loin Lover

    Loin Lover Squier-holic

    Jul 26, 2018
    Backwoods, USA
    Even though this isn't a joke hopefully it will bring a :) . Mrs. Lover and I have been fans of Lucy's talent, humor, and beauty for decades. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her with blonde hair in a 1935 short film by another favorite of mine, The 3 Stooges. Cracked me up.
    Lucy emoji.jpg
     
  4. MrYeats

    MrYeats Squier-holic

    Age:
    64
    Dec 28, 2017
    Padre Island
    Well it's not really a joke, but it is quite peculiar.
    At school we all were taught the history of the past. Well I feel pretty caught up now and am contemplating where we can learn the history of the future.
     
  5. MrYeats

    MrYeats Squier-holic

    Age:
    64
    Dec 28, 2017
    Padre Island
    and don't say, "Only time will tell."
     
  6. duceditor

    duceditor Dr. Squier

    Age:
    72
    May 29, 2014
    The Monadnocks, NH USA
  7. MrYeats

    MrYeats Squier-holic

    Age:
    64
    Dec 28, 2017
    Padre Island
    Q: what does a cow have 4 of that a woman only has 2 of?
    A: Legs
    Bet you were going to say something else.
     
  8. squierbilly

    squierbilly Dr. Squier

    Apr 21, 2013
    sunny phoenix
    Yea,, stomachs..
    (Women have one for food and one for baby)..
    learned that when i was a toddler myself.. :D
     
    mb doug, Kenneth Mountain and MrYeats like this.
  9. Cobra

    Cobra Squier-Meister

    Age:
    61
    203
    Mar 8, 2018
    Florida
  10. MrYeats

    MrYeats Squier-holic

    Age:
    64
    Dec 28, 2017
    Padre Island
    You know, when we start getting up in age, the first thing to go is the left knee, ;then goes the right knee, and finally the wee knee.
     
  11. Conghaille

    Conghaille Squier-holic

    Jul 12, 2016
    Elsewhere
    Man, I was really worried about my body breaking down, but now I see I’m a lucky one: my right knee still works! Phew!

    #SilverLining

    EDIT: Honestly, as often as I use them, I'd MUCH rather have a little blue pill for my knees!
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2019
  12. MrYeats

    MrYeats Squier-holic

    Age:
    64
    Dec 28, 2017
    Padre Island
    The clock is ticking.
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2019
    Kenneth Mountain and mb doug like this.
  13. spellcaster

    spellcaster Squier-Meister

    315
    Nov 25, 2010
    Duncan, BC Canada
    A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament is stuck in traffic. Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: ‘What’s the hold-up?’ The policeman replies: ‘The Prime Minister is so depressed he’s stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. He says no one believes he can get us through the credit crunch. So we’re taking up a collection for him.’ The lobbyist asks: ‘How much have you got so far?’ The officer replies: ‘About 40 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning.’
     
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